Even though your obsessive devotion to your own neurotic needs is what makes you so loveable, that, and your terminal righteousness, I still like you.
The Buddha said that the path of all suffering is desire. Be free of suffering by being free of desire. Be smart in your desires. Do not desire harmful recipes. Which one is best for you? Suffering is more like dissatisfaction. Let go of the pain and allow yourself to become what you can be. Connect to your core. Relax your breath, hands, heal yourself, meditate, and slowly open your eyes and move toward living in the now. Satoru