We have to reckon forcefully with the idea that there is a right side and a wrong side. The key world here is responsibility for your actions, inactions, collusion, collaboration, speech, or silence. If you are aware of the problem, but do nothing, then you are complicit in accepting a system or situation, which has twisted reality for their convenience. If you can act, even in a small way, and you will not, that is where complicity lives, and your inaction has moral consequences.
Release the thoughts that no longer serve you, by first acknowledging the harm it is doing to your physical and mental health, by carrying the weight of the past hurts, disappointments, madness, accidents, and life’s tribulations. Then stop and visualize the freedom of cleansing yourself of the burden. God and Caesar are man-made authorities but one’s ultimate authority should be oneself. It is not your fault, obligation, or duty to punish yourself or hold the guilt or shame. Be accessible, find some key people and engage them. Focus on your mid-course correction and then your new direction. Even if you did the best you could and failed, you tried. Move forward into a positive reality by understanding you have another chance today to get under way again, and begin. Are you breathing? Drink a full glass of water, stretch, take a deep breathe, put your hands over your head and say out loud, “Yes I can start again.”
Wow. So many people emailed me about this blog, and asked for counsel, that I have to continue with some advice. It is also an excerpt from the book, A Way to Love Laugh.
Rejection like old age is a part of life, both suck. The alternatives, no action and death are a lot worse. Unfortunately, we hear rejection louder than praise. But, we have to live with refusal and accept the negative aspects; we must accommodate and move on. If you are actively seeking a new love, you must be somewhat aggressive. You will be bashed and dismissed: so, what? The idea is to end in triumph and obtain your goal. Do not search for a companion in some remote or exotic place. The easiest place to find love is where you are. But, you must be available to have a relationship and friends and not always too busy.
Some thoughtful strategies might be to tell yourself and believe; the person didn’t know me anyway, they didn’t want to take the risk, there is no accounting for taste, no one really knows how good I am, no one knows what I have to give. But, most of all, it only takes just one person to accept and love you. You can lessen the pain by simply trying again. If they say no, just say to yourself, NEXT!
Rejection like old age is a part of life, both suck. The alternatives, no action and death are a lot worse. Unfortunately, we hear rejection louder than praise. But, we have to live with refusal and accept the negative aspects; we must accommodate and move on. If you are actively seeking a new love, you must be somewhat aggressive. You will be bashed and dismissed: so, what? The idea is to end in triumph and obtain your goal. Do not search for a companion in some remote or exotic place. The easiest place to find love is where you are. But, you must be available to have a relationship and friends and not always too busy. (Excerpt from, A Way to Love Laugh.)
There is a cycle that we are unaware of. We are depressed and do not know why. If there is something wrong with your body, more specifically, there is a reaction to the central nervous system when toxic or metabolic changes are produced by a visceral condition. A flood of cytokines responds to the invasion of, abnormal cells, chemical imbalances, incorrect medications, and cause the onset of depression. So being depressed may be a warning sign that something serous is happening and you have to have yourself checked out physically. You have to become more aware of how you consume, passively, mindlessly, or critically and actively, with an awareness always moving toward healthier consumption. (This is a paragraph from my new book, A Way to Health – Move, to be published this year. I’ll let you know when it is out.) S
When everything goes well, we do not learn. We believe, “that is the way things should be.” But when adversarial or difficult conditions or experiences occur, they affect us emotionally. We learn on a deeper level, in the same way surviving hard winters make a tree physically powerful, the growth rings inside it grow more compressed, denser and stronger. Stay strong. Stay positive. Satoru
My good friend sends me Emails about Zen and life. He sent me one recently, from a post he perused, that really made me think. What matters most: the outcome or the intent. It was the writings of an individual that reminded me of the Zen saying, “A person who holds and exposes a lot of wise saying, maxims, and proverbs gives the impression of intelligence.” This individual, upon closer examination of his writing, sandwiches truth between unsubstantiated assertions, unrealistic results, and sloppy thinking. He states, “be ever-present and mindfully diligent throughout all of your endeavuors.” And does not even spell check.
But when he started to assert his views about art and life, he really fell short and ventured far from practical reality and the real world. “don’t be more concerned with the possible outcomes, than with the intentions themselves. Now, treat your life as you would your art.” So, without any skill, preparation, training, planning, conceptualization, and focus on success, make some art. In the first case that would be called art therapy. In the latter, it would allow you to be a free spirt, devoid of responsibility for the finished product, negating deferred gratification, and lost in emotional immaturity without hope of ever becoming an adult.
Your focus determines your reality. If you look for bliss in every moment, as this individual asserts, you will be frustrated and stressed out all your lifetime. Yes, you can live in the now, but the outcome of your positive endeavors is what makes you succeed, not just your intent. Satoru